Postcards from the Subconscious
that's what dreams are
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Story Notes:
John dared me, and I took the dare.


Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author--in this case, Rose. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.
Certain things you have to recognize.

When she sees Wisdom again in London she snips at him. "Not your girl," she says, and it's true, but the thing is--thing is she's not anyone's girl, not even her own, not any more, so they stay an extra night to rest and she ghosts through his door, and he's a smug son of a bitch, but she doesn't mind.

Not really. He always was.

It's why she stays the night, and if he's disappointed she's not there when he wakes up--


People change. And next time he sees her, he doesn't expect her to stay that long, and when he mutters, "Bitch," as she leaves Kitty shrugs.

Pete always learned fast and knew her better than she liked to admit.

One, Kitty is her father's daughter, even if he has claws and she lacks them. In another way of looking at it, she chose Destruction for her Endless long before she knew who he was, not the other way around, and there are two other siblings she could have easily chosen and still been her.

"Siblings" is the key word here.

Piotr's painting when she gets back, and his jaw is tight, and she kisses the corner of it before going to work on the plane.

Eventually, he joins her, or enters the room, anyway. Leans against the doorframe that's too small, really, for him, and doesn't ask the question he wants to.

So she doesn't lie, but she doesn't tell him, either, and figures Piotr should know her well enough by now to know that she can be selfish.

Two, Kitty isn't very good at feeling trapped, in any way, shape, or form.

Excalibur drops by, and Piotr knows, and Pete knows, and it's not fair to either of them, and she doesn't care at all.

In the end, they get drunk together, and she lets them, and Pete's jaw is bruised the next morning and Piotr winces, a little, when he reaches into the fridge, and breakfast is awkward for some people, and Kitty just drinks her coffee and looks out the window.

Three, loving someone doesn't mean you sleep with them. Sleeping with someone doesn't mean you love them. And loving and sleeping with someone doesn't mean you won't sleep with or love someone else. It's often assumed in some cultures. It's not necessarily so.

Betsy asks her, idly, how long she plans to keep this up, and Kitty's answer is, "Until it stops hurting," and no one asks her much after that. Logan just sits with her, and smokes his cigar, and doesn't say a word, though he puts his arm around her when she rests her head on his shoulder.

Four, you can catch a ghost, but it's a lot harder to keep her, even if she'd like to be caught. That is the nature of a ghost.

Peter is drunk, and she is too, and both of them are grieving over lives they never had, and, for all her faults, she was kinda proud about never having an affair with a married man. It was something.


Neither of them say anything the next morning, but they meet again for coffee and to discuss politics and, the conversation growing less stilted, science, and they're smiling by the time the pot comes back to fill their mugs again.

Five, sometimes the ghost catches you.

Piotr won't speak with her for two days after he finds out, and Pete just laughs, and Mary Jane sends her a letter that Kitty reads alone, and in the end it gets to be a system, Peter and Piotr and Pete and Kitty.

You take what you're given. These days, there's not much being given, so throwing anything away is foolish.

And six, just because something isn't right doesn't mean you don't do it.

Logan's the one who finds her outside most mornings--just barely morning, if you push it--looking at the sun come up, and Logan's the one who still sits next to her with his cigar and says nothing and holds her.

Only thing he ever says is, "Ain't gonna stop hurting, Pryde," and she says, "I know," and they go back to watching the sky, because fathers can't protect their daughters from life or from themselves.

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